The Fight Between the Mouth, the Nose, and the Eyes

Once upon a time, a faultfinding mouth made an impertinent remark to a nose.

Mouth: Hey, you bastard nose! What the hell is it that you do that justifies you being above me?? All you do is sit there with your two frickin' chimneys! I, of course, eat three meals a day, and eat between meals, and I speak too! There's nothing on the face that works like I do, so why must I be at the lowest part of the face? You oughtta swap places with me!

The overconfident nose got angry.

Nose: What are you blathering on about?? Can you see nothing but your own work? Have you ever worked at night?

Mouth: Well, I've sleep-talked...

Nose: Fool!! How the hell is sleeptalking working at night?? Of course, I work during the day, but I'm constantly breathing at night too without even a minute's rest! In addition, since you have a habit of eating spoiled food so you don't waste it... I distinguish between good and bad food. Don't you realise that??

Mouth: OK, OK, I get it! Then you're all right. The offenders are those bulging eyes above you! They may stare in the daytime, but they don't do a thing at night aside from sleeping quietly! Slackers like that oughtta be at the bottom!

Then the squinting eyes looked down at the mouth and the nose and yelled at them.

Eyes: How arrogant you are, you goblin-nose and you conceited mouth! Since we observe from on high, we can make sure you don't fall in dangerous places, and we detect any stones in your rice too.

Nose: Stones have no smell, so I can't tell.

Mouth: I eat everything!

Eyes: Be grateful!

Nose: Okay, I'm sorry!

Mouth: O-oh yes, you're quite right! Then it's those eyebrows right at the top! Those damn long good-for-nothings!